I remember a period in primary (elementary) school where I will fall sick before the school year. It could be excitement or just stress. But I don’t remember feeling stress at those times. Or that year end/start are the colder days and so I get sick-ish.
I read that sometimes our bodies can start to manifest pain/illness if we *know* that something not to the best of our interest is coming up. Weird huh. Like how some folks get completely cured once they are able to drop certain emotions.
I also remember getting sick during some stressful times in school.
Anyway, during this ONE day of under the weather, I was able to look and face things that I had usually ignored. Sometimes we built walls so high, we forgot that there is a whole other side over there.
Ain’t 2018 a year of mind and body change!! LOVE IT!
Forgiveness has always been an interesting topic to me.
It is very, VERY easy for me to forgive (I can say I almost don’t care) things like a restaurant staff who didn’t help usher us in. Probably she is mad that the greeter is not doing his/her job or simply it is just a local cultural thing that when there is space diners can just walk in.
What I can never let go is prolonged deliberate hurt-inducing behaviours from people.
Frankly I get the concept that often people held on to these anger mainly they are still missing/needing the remediation from the aggressor. And I too know that, like how the famous saying goes, all these anger are like drinking poison and hoping that the other party will get it.
It could also be that for example, a boss has been on-going mad coz revenue is not coming in and being inexperienced herself, is so stressed out that they go bonkers. Yet… forgiveness is still hard for me to generate.
I can see the final picture of myself being free, and the other person live their life, I can see how much more awesome I can be, yet… How do I forgive this latter kind of aggression?
The last redeeming thing that made me want to forgive is really that, by holding on to this hurt, I am just making myself stuck.
And a beautiful story about it goes like this; well, after all they say each of us is guarded by angels.
A few days back I was reading mails on Mr Mick’s site (read them here!) and in the middle of it, Jack from the UA programme linked me a mixtape on Okinawan music.
Then it all came to me.
Should one day I meet nice folks like Mr Mick and Jack or just any dear person in my life, NO WAY AM I GONNA BRING AROUND THE NEGATIVE ENERGIES OF PEOPLE WHO DID ME WRONG WITH ME.
And… I can only forgive. Or rather, I am SO freaking willing to not carry this with me. Yes, perhaps I will remember the incidents. I will still freaking push them off a cliff (if possible and they will be fine and only my anger get release!) but I am aiming at that their energy is NEVER going to have any effects on me. And I can only do this within me.
Since I am buying more groceries these days, I contribute to at least 120% of the plastic bags at home.
Turning to re-usable bags and this looks like a singlet to differentiate sports teams. xD
Meanwhile I am reaping really good results from my Japanese classes.
- Listening Round 1: 46/100
- Listening Round 2: 48/100
- Listening Round 3: 78/100
I really think that the more we release the dense energies stuck on us, the smoother we go about in life.
Yet, at times taking the first step already seems scary. And after so many years of having gunk stuck around, many folks probably developed the, WHY BOTHER belief.
So many times people have to get pushed to rock bottom before they change route.
I have now begun to really choose my associates. It is still hard for me to move into this new pattern but yeah. I think one of the worst thing that can happen is being attached to friends/partners or people who are close hat don’t want to bump up when you really, REALLY want to give yourself a lift in life.
I don’t mean ditching people and/or refusing to help others and turn into a nasty person, but really, my own happiness and profit (not just money wise) will also come in equally, if not more important.
For we can only love others to the degree we love ourselves.
Whenever I thought of this, I will remember Morgan Sensei, a modest and simple man. Yet, he can always hold me in my highest version. I don’t think someone can be called a friend just bcoz I have things I want to do for myself in my life and they just think that they don’t like it.
There is nothing wrong with choosing the life one wants to have for oneself. It only become sad when this person begun to dislike his/her life so much that they can only find solace in interrupting with others’ life and telling them what to do.
SO, I AM SO GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR FOLKS WHO ALWAYS BELIEVE THAT I CAN DO BETTER~~ ❤ ❤ ❤
My notes for my JLPT N2 Preparatory class had gotten thick enough for me to use this document case. The interesting thing is, it just came to me last week that I need not skip a day of gym on Sundays just because I have classes, I can totally go to the nearest gym around my school. =D
SO DAMN AMAZING.
Totally forgot that my N2 mock test was last week. And thank goodness I was running late and so I pushed my Sunday’s morning class to Monday’s night. If not I would have spent the whole day in school.
And thank goodness that I bought some snacks to eat before the intended gym session. There was only a 30 minutes break between my last class and the 2 hr 45 mins mock test.
I have now moved to resistant 2 on the gym bike. From 20km to 5km. So lesser time to watch longer videos.
Prof Rao (I know he is a Dr!)’s class was the first lesson I took in Mindvalley. And it changed my life a lot.
Many times a lot of things are not what it seems and we actually have more control than we think.
I think one of the greatest gift we can give to our children (or just others in general) is that while we are the care-taker/guardian/buddy, our children/friend get to live their own lives and fly on their own paths.
It is a thing to see how much parents can actually affect a child. Or how friends influenced each other.
So many times people are not ready and what they passed on to their kids are just painful to watch. It is said that children usually think that it is THEIR fault if their parents divorced. And they carried with them the notion of not being enough with them into adulthood and beyond.
Some protein intake after gym on Monday. And great news!!!
- My old shirt is now flowing down my hips, previously it was stuck around the hips.
- L-Sized thights waistband are loose on first wear.
- Even my M-sized pants are getting loose. WOOHOO!!!
- Clothing is all looser now.
- Face is more defined now.
- I am upping the resistant on my gym equipment. ❤
It is a whole new thing when I start to love myself more.
Yes, why had I chosen to go around with those extra weight and felt unhappy all the time?!!!
I met Iwata Sensei (my pre-class teacher) in the lift on Monday’s evening when I was going for my regular class replacement.
I remember her asking if I am taking the PRE-advance class and I said yes. However when she mentioned that the compositions are difficult ne, I immediately said I am still in PRE-advance. Thinking that Iwata Sensei probably thought that I am in the ADVANCE classes.
And finally! Our cute Abe Sensei told us that now that we are in Pre-Advance T-H-R-E-E~~ we are gonna start having composition homework.
Only at this point I remember that Iwata Sensei is someone who pretty much remember everything. And likely remember all of Abe Sensei’s curriculum.
There were many times when Iwata Sensei would say things like ” For N2 Grammar No. 96, please refer to N3 Grammar 33.” Like she taught for so long she just remembers everything and is able to link things like that.
Anyway, a beautiful story.
Coming from Shikoku, Iwata Sensei used to ring her neighbours’ doorbells and ask for fruits when the fruit trees in her neighbours’ garden bear fruits. Like this a common and do-able thing in where she came from.
Ain’t that beautiful.
I had wanted to draw a cherry tree with a young girl but pretty much all my time are resting after gym and listening to the UA recordings. It ain’t a bad thing. In fact I am so grateful and thankful for this period to shape up.
I know people all say the inner part matters, equally, your inner makes your outer. I know I am not at my best yet.
Slight bit of air-cons dries my skins and I got this since Cure’s dead skin removed is like THE BEST THING on earth.
I haven’t notice anything special on my face yet but…
I was just splashing this on a long-standing dry patch on my right ankle and toe nails.
The dry patch on my right ankle turned into soft skin just over night.
And all these while I have been putting on this other moisturising BUTTER thingy.
GO BUY THIS EVERYBODY!!!
Free gift with the bra pads I got. I asked this online and a girl told me this is for coiling ear-piece wire.
Dinner with just Mum after her a casual check up.
I don’t mean this as a sad thing but as we age, Death just comes closer to us. I have older parents than most people and since young it was always a thing. Together with a couple other things, I always feel un-relate-able to people.
I read that this is why a lot of people gave up hope. Since they are conditioned so since they are kids, they grow up thinking that there are no solution for them in life.
But on the good side, folks like us found many awesome thing in our search to belong.
And talk about belonging. I begin to think that we can always be an “outsider” and still feel happy and belonged.
My Mum is quite the No. 1 person who cannot agree with me but still we live in harmony.
Gonna have some winter melon pie with tea now and may I keep finding things and people that makes my heart twang and I get to keep them.
LOVE TO YOU ALL!!!