ArtPeace #019 Satori and Kensho

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Inspired by the Master Class with Rev. Michael Bernard Beckwith.

More reading by Vishen Lakhiani —> here.

広告

命 Life

I posted this at my Mindvalley course private FB group. I thought it is good to share.

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Today mark the 2nd time in me life where my Dad walked me to my warded Mum.

The first time was when I was 5. Mum flew through the windscreen of my cousin’s car.

Today she was to have a minor surgery to remove her gall bladder. What pained me was she has to go through this at 72.

I only met my Dad midway/after the surgery. When the staff called to tell us that the surgery is over but needed a while before they can move my Mum to the bed, I just broke down and cried. I had thought something happened. Before the scheduled surgery, there was a last minute re-scan coz apparently they found a lump in the liver. Turned out all ok.

I remembered that in one live call? Or lesson? Students asked Prof Rao about, how can an obviously bad thing have goodness? (And vice versa, do we all expect badness from an obviously good thing?)

The question was from a man who lost a son and another woman who also suffered similar lost. In the end the guy went, his experience had allowed him to relate with the lady (the so called goddness out of his lost) and they later formed a trust fund for children.

I hope my story today can help young people dealing with aging parents. I want to tell you guys that it is ok that we might sink into denial/hiding mode. Like I left my 84 year old Dad to deal with it all until finally I pulled myself together and met him later.

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He likes the milk tea I got. What matters is we must never give in to fate and whine. We are all stronger that we think.

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And we will feel extreme guilt. And that is ok. Just don’t crush yourself with it. The world still need you to be the superhero you are. What happened was my Dad actually asked why his Coffee Bean (for overseas folks, it is like Starbucks) breakfast so expensive. He is a little lost touched with the current. And I died when I saw my Mum’s clothes in the bag. It is so painful to know that a person taking surgery literally went in all alone.

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Also, keep with you a phone charger.

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The last thing is really, sometimes Dad are the strongest. I think I will die if I see my wife on a hospital bed and my daughter in tears. I am sure my Dad is a softie like me. God knows how he dealt with these.

Next, dramas and movies, especially the raging Korean dramas lied!!!! BIG TIMES! NO ONE EVER LOOK REMOTELY OK OUT OF THE SURGEY ROOM. I cried so bad seeing my Mum being pushed to her observation unit the hospital staff were getting ready that I might pass out.

However!!! It is true that juat like in movies, people can just walk in observation rooms easily. All those thrillers and whatnot about rival gang members sneaking in to kill injured mob bosses are REAL. Now we know!!!

And admist all these, I just got notice that I will be leaving my job by August. The good part is Singapore has a very great health care, we need not worry about nedical fees. But in my current reality, I am really worried.

Good thing, bad thing who knows!!!

There is a part 2 ebibody!! 💟💟💟💟💟

And I wish this episode of mine will never have to be repeated elsewhere. May this be a bitter-happy comedy thing. Like damn. I just find myself in a drama setting again I can’t even. 😂😂😂😂

I Published My Own Book!

The new Milk Tea Panna Cotta Cream Frappuccino is THE BOMB. And I got a free upgrade. VIVA Starbucks card!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

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Found my dream pen case at ArtFriend. ❤

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Not bad! Milk Tea from Daiso.

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The other day tubs with tissues in them were resting on the window ledge of the classroom. I don’t know what happened. In my Japanese class.

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TINTED CHARCOAL EXISTS.

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How do the science works??

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And why, why, why are these pencils shaped this way??

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MOS Burger has a bit of an image-change and…

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I keep going back to MOS for the Mustard Sauce. I was telling folks at work that when one day this love fades, I will feel THE emptiness.

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Lesson this week was the amazing.

Kids and me made our 1-Page story books and presented it to the class. ❤ ❤ ❤

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My first book is about Ishida Yusuke and kids were sO impressed that he cycled around the world for SEVEN years and touched that his Mum went to the temple to pray for him everyday.

May I meet Mr Ishida one day. I NEED TO TELL HIM THIS STORY.

Of coz, this was my 2nd book.

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Guess which is my Naoto. ❤

I don’t know what happened but I was faced with a hopping mad Boss san when she learned what happened. To save my ass I ran out of the room to prepare story boards of Aesop Fables as instructed.

Children learned about hardwork and persistent and a mother’s love from Ishida’s story. For Orange Range, it was friendship as Yoh and Naoto knew each other since Kindergarten. A girl told me that means FOREVER. ❤ My heart exploded with love. If I really meet Orange Range, I will tell them. I promise. I will put asking Naoto to marry after this.

Since having children write and present their story is wrong, I thought I can tell them a good tale. As we are a Japanese programme taught in English, why not Momotaro?? =D

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The first batch of kids LOVE the new foreign stuff they were looking at!!

And lovingly, they all got the teamwork, friendship and even though you are small, you can do great things too idea. LOVELY!!

For the next class we looked out for other fairytales within and it was fun!!

Just when I thought this was one of our best lesson, Boss san stormed in and wanted to chew on my ass.

“Can we stick to the initial plan?”

What plan?? Apparently every week, hers, Goddess colleague and MY times is spent on rehearsals which did nothing for the final class. Why, why, why??

And becoz I am rebellious shit, this is my 3rd book. MUAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAaaaa!!!

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Last week Boss san told one of my kid’s Dad maybe he would want to send the boy for assessment, like maybe the boy is hyperactive or having special needs.

I silently rolled my eyes a few times.

I am not doctor but, if Boss san really thinks so, she is being crazy to allow the boy in a regular class, and with ONLY one teacher. I don’t know how long this situation is gonna last despite my kids running out of our centre and a whole bunch of stuff.

When there was still an assistance teacher, there was ZERO issues. All WAS PERFECT.

I tried to get Snow kun Sensei in but apparently both me and Snow kun Sensei can’t help much. Snow kun Sensei is also a soft toy.

My mum started moving Snow Kun Sensei around the house and tells me that it was HIM who moves around. 😆😆😆 Meanwhile kids in my class are calling a cellphone as "the difficult phone," calling me by name and… "You love teaching more than Japanese food because you get money from teaching!!!" 最近ママはSnowくん先生を家に別々なところ置きます。あとは、“大変!白熊自分は動くことができる!!” クラスの子どもは: 🐰携帯電話 = 難しい電話 🐰私の名前だけ読んでいた。“どうして‘ユシン’だけできないの?なんで‘先生’を付きべきの??” 🌷ベスト:“ね!日本料理より仕事が好きの理由は、教師に役なら、お金がもらえるんね!!”

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I get that the issue might be me. And yet every week we are letting this sit by. Until I could no longer answer Boss san on what I was doing and what was I not doing. I can only looked down in wonderment of why no assistant teachers was assigned while I hastily packed up things for the next class; not before first running to assist in another class. I sensed a cold and deadly glare from Boss san before she walked out on me.

I did my best and I have no regrets.

Walnut muffin from one of my girl’s Mum. And it was my n-th time fixing back the colour pencils tab.

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Fruit from Teacher B!

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Translator I brought us 豆沙饼 from Malaysia. I LOVE THEM!!!

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Mint chocolate from Translator S.

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The night before this I received instant enlightenment. I am magical!!

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I remember the good times in Okinawa where I have ice cream every breakfast. Hello Okinawa!!!

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THIS IS SO GOOD!

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I had a super bad allergic reaction that night. Ice cream and cakes for myself.

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My purple ink drowned in my blue MILDlighter. MILD IS A LIE.

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I am also banned from doing Origami in class. But I am breaking the rule since kids sometimes come in 20-30 minutes before class and making them study will tire them before the class. ALSO!! Like I mentioned, ALL our rehearsals for ONLY my class, the time of THREE staff, always go wasted as we never get to prepared for the real thing.

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B4 folder thingy. Some of my stuff are too big to be put in a box file and this makes reading on the train and while waiting for the bus easy.

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More rainbow pencils and stickers. Last week Goddess Sensei and Teacher B was plotting of robbing a shop their stickers. They went on to say that Boss san can dispatch them to other centres to continue teaching in the event we get caught.

I think they are silly.

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My latest muse.

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And I cut my hair today.

I finally cut my hair! 💗💇

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ArtPeace #18

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Abe Sensei was telling us that the pathway leading to her University is lined with Ginko trees that turns into a dreamy yellow scene during the Autumn.

However, when the Ginko nuts got stepped on, they start to stinks. xD

The lag from start to finish was loooong.

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I used fluorescent colour pencil for this. Then a pen to layer on.

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“Use the difficult phone.”

Typing this on my way home in the train. Don’t think I will be able to post it up by the time I near home.

I have got *SO MUCH* to journal down about work.

Sure, all these while it had occurred to me that working with pre-school children is a GIFT to me life. But it was only yesterday that it hit me so clearly that this is LIFE reaching out to me.

The first clicking sounds of the floodgates opening was when the little sis of a girl in my class just started crying. Their super cool Mum was just asking her to say Thank you & Bye to Teacher Bee when, the little child just cried. And it was kinda bad.

It should have been obvious to me that taking care of children is hard, but only came to me when I saw the almost helpless look on the cool Mum.

And then! It all came when this other boy refused to enter the classroom and in panic/desperateness, the Mum silently-shouted at the boy. The older kids from the class I was assisting start getting worried and gathered at their classroom door. I close the door and told them that nothing is going on.

I used to took in the belief that bad parenting or even bad parents themselves results in all the crying children and whatnot.

And finally Life is giving me a chance and telling me to quit being so mindlessly judgmental.

*****

Now that I am typing this, it is already Monday’s morning. My rest day.

I have so many, sOoOoOooo many things to talk about but always falling short of recording them here.

One thing that came to me really clear was this thing about Karma. I always thought that it is just some big word people throw around. Even when Morgan Sensei told me about always to lead a bight and straight life, I had wanted to ask him, won’t that go me to be vulnerable and suffer?

Until… I was literally witnessing a lot of instant Karmas.

While it was educational, I too wondered, what Karma did I accumulated to have to kinda get involved. For all I know, this is ALL GOOD, so I can really believe in Karma.

Ok first up! I got these Midliners and ONE pen. Totally forgot to put them into my art supplies the last post. First time getting a set of cold colours! Although brown is not really one of it~~

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Pens needed for an ArtPeas that I am working on. It is the 29th now. xD

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So, Abe Sensei told us that the pathway leading to her University is lined with Ginko Trees and they turned beautifully yellow in the Autumn.

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However, once the ginko nuts fell and got stepped on, they stink. xD

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Boss san printed my class register on this piece of recycle paper. Wooo~~ to whoever has fear of clustered circles. With suspicious dots inside.

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These Xiao Long Baos were from last time when Goddess Colleague totally HAND-SEWN stuff for lunch box making.

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They were mean to be eggs with magnets, aimed to help kids learn about division. Apparently they were  not up to her satisfaction and in distress she stuck them on our Artist’s table.

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Everyday I have to mock these fails. And somehow Goddess colleague is still on talking terms with me. Either she is very kind or she is slowly plotting my dismay.

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Kindness, kindness and kindness. I told everyone in the tribe that I am redoing my sessions and someone asked if I want the Companion Workbook. I already printed it out but it was the kind gesture that make it all good. ❤ Thank you sOooOoooooOOOOO much!!!

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Yes. Morning bliss.

And I have to say this.

I took on this teaching job all because I love Japanese culture and it was my dream to be a teacher.

Until…

It starts to “scares” and touched me in the most profound way that parents hold teachers on a pretty high place. Like we are the people who are paving their kids’ path for the way and they trust us so much with it.

Never in my life did I experience impostor syndrome so deeply. And also I have to thank them over a few life times for being such wonderful people to give me so much.

Meanwhile I also made double-sided puzzle piece for the board. I did you people proud.

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Translator S told me that this is nice and OMG. It has taste from primary school. My childhood is made. I am a child prodigy. I am a prodigy.

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I always wanted a set of colour pens. Even though with everything I have gotten so far I already have MORE than one set of colour pens.

And I found this at $1.90.

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TEN COLOURS!!

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Me on a notebook buying spree~~!

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Recently my Mum would move Snow Kun Sensei around and tell me that the bear himself moved. This is Snow kun Sensei being on the bed but not on the bed. SMART ASS.

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Lovely breakfast. ❤

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So thrilled to get this book!! ❤

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Happy Vesak Day Ebibody!!!

Last Day of Me Life

Wow, wow, wow… I didn’t expect that on the last day of Hero.Genius.Legend, by Robin Sharma, WE GET TO IMAGINE HOW WILL WE WANT PEOPLE TO REMEMBER US WHEN WE DIE.

I am still trying to process the whole thing. Not because it is intense, more of… I was eating Cookies & Ice Cream ice cream, expecting that we will have a touching wrap up.

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But a special seed got planted in my heart.

I think it is time that I live braver. I want to live braver.

Hello Ebibody!! Hero Xingible is here. ❤ :*

Life Updates

New McD’s burger.

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I LOVE SEAWEED SHAKER FRIES!! ❤ ❤ ❤

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Had this gorgeous porridge last Sunday. Shredded chicken, scallops, cereal and added in century eggs. SO GOOD MY KOKORO REJOICED. The lovely thing about working in a mall is, there are sO many food choices!!!

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Good old cheese fries. ❤

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Stuff I learned from children. Now that we are into our 3rd term, one pair of twins cleared their term 1 and 2 stuff so their files are lighter. Got me to think, shouldn’t I do the same? Wheee~~~ ❤ ❤ ❤

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Stickers Chu sent! For the kids I am teaching but I am using them for myself.

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I made 98475094275309 Mother’s Day Cards with the kids this year. Gave all to Mum who gladly accepted them.

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New shoes scraped my heel and this apple print plaster really smells of apple!! My called me childish for it.

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Not sure what is Speculoos but this tasted heavenly!! ❤ ❤ ❤

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One morning to work!

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And the last Haagen-Dazs I had was in 2012, on flights to and from Japan. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

It was when I heard Shima Uta by The Boom for the first time and I replayed it all the way from Singapore to Osaka. Speaking of which I am so thankful towards all my travelling times. They are such highlights of me life.

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Salmon Cheese Baked Fusillis.

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Goddess Colleague’s Mum made these.

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The coloured parts are coconut jelly. And it was done with food injection syringes. Not sure how it goes but crazy gorgeous eh!!

Got lines notebooks from Miniso and the pink ones are lies!! Half lies.

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This LINED notebook is a half-lie.

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New Japanese study books in Taiwanese Chinese.

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Met Morgan Sensei, bless his GOOD SOUL!! ❤ ❤ ❤

And my Japanese study!!I moved into Term 2 of my Pre-Advance class. YIPPEEE!!

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Classrooms are either at the 12th or 20th floor.

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Yesterday Ms Abe did something nice. I made a funny sentence in my worksheet but that didn’t fit the grammar pattern. Even after we all went through the stuff in class and she gave us the standard answers, she still wrote notes on my paper to help me with my initial sentence.

From now on I will really look through my worksheets and revise them.

And kids!

One of them has to cut a thin strip off a teaching material. He then wondered why a hole is made. I sandwiched 2 coloured paper in one laminating pouch.

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Also to draw on more teaching materials.

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And then my shirt. I only have ONE clean shirt now.

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And my favourite book so far!!! It seems like my ancestors was once trading brokers stationed in China, dealing with traders from Ryukyu.

My love for Okinawa started from an ancestral level.

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REALLY LOVE THESE CHOCOLATES. ❤ ❤ ❤

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Been a while since I logged about daily life. How is everyone?

All things are pretty awesome for me. ❤ I just need more FRIENDS and more MONEY. Thank you. ❤