My Happy Days: Revamping, Transiting and Still The World is a Much Bigger Place

First up Bear kun is integrating fast into my family. I think he has some special charm or something.

The other day I drooled a bunch on the pink handkerchief and had to wash it. Mum then tied it on Bear kun. I asked Mum why and she said coz she is afraid that Bear kun’s tummy will get cold and he might pee on Big Bear.

I think the whole thing is about me drooling on Big Bear and thank goodness for the handkerchief as buffer.

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My Japanese class

Despite my results, if any, after 11 years of studying the language, I have become some sort of a Life-Senpai in this category. I await the day I graduate and meanwhile I have stuff to offer.

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So, for the first time since February, Abe Sensei came up to me and asked what happened. Her writing says, “Please revise them!!” I honestly had no idea and these were N4 level stuff. 5 levels, I am going for N2.

This is no blaming but really, cheap cost more. I remember that my first formal Japanese at a language school is scouted by a friend’s friend based on fees/hour. For years I thought that was a really brilliant choice until now that I notice how much I had missed.

The older lady in my class gotten the same results as me and we talked and she asked where I first studied and how was the school.

Back in my old school, there was no homework and much lesser materials and support compared to Ikoma. The 12 or so of us sat in a U-shape and if we missed our chance, we get no chance to speak up and that was also a crucial part to whether we can pass or not and move up to the next stage.

Again no judgement, but after entering the league of a Life-Senpai through sheer years, I realised… Crazy as this sounds… Even at N2 or so, learners might still be unable to speak smoothly. And the mood maker of the class will always be the only person filling in and in.

I notice, there isn’t a right or wrong to many things. I adore my old school still. And I had such a wonderful time there, just that we are always changing and there, when we are willing to seek what better fit us, woooo~~ the WHOLE Universe conspires to help us.

This don’t really applies to relationship though. Don’t be an asshole that keep seeking better partners while you never be the right person for others.

And meanwhile!!!

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Yup, my benchmark is set. I can and should only get 100/100 from now on.

Next, I am so happy and grateful and crazily darn glad that my classes are all back on a Sunday. Below is last night class. The 3rd last lesson on a Monday night. ❤ Also I like to study in the day.

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AND GLORIOUS NEWS EBIBODY!! Notice I am entering ADVANCED THREE!!!

Seriously, this feels teary. Since forever my progress was stuck, or so I thought was stuck since 2012. I moved up THREE freaking levels just in 2018 alone. WOW. Talk about taking massive actions.

Of coz, the good thing is also that I am really getting better with my Japanese in real life too. When I see Naoto I can tell him that my Mum looks like him.

JLPT N2 Preparatory Class

I was still getting the jitters on my 2nd lesson and totally I love myself for making this choice. As a Life-Senpai I have to say this; I used to find preparatory classes a sham. Yes, you heard me right.

First it was my own ignorance and underestimation of the level and degree of a REAL N2 examination. Likewise in other areas of life, I notice that those with the least abilities offer the least and further complicated things.

I went to a talk on the new JLPT examination once which ended with inviting the crowd to enroll in their preparatory classes. And now, guess what I am going to say? Frankly, I now have this new change of mind. Yes, this sounds like a business plan, but so what? If it fits you, take it, if not leave it.

I went back the next year or was it a few years later?? And in the weekly 1.5 hours? 2.5 hours? class, the teacher would go through test papers with us. The course fees was something that I could afford and again, cheap sometimes cost more. For me.

Again, no judgement, it might work for others. My first push to join a preparatory class was because I thought at least I will be accompanied by a class and so I will revise on my own. This idea work great for some folks.

Also, the world is a big, big place full of MANY possibilities, if we only open our views a little, the little is all we are ever going to see.

I thought this was the norm for preparatory classes and some time later I found a private tutor who taught the same way at an even lower price. For this, it was going through assessment books and occasionally some mock papers.

For some reason/s, neither worked for me until I finally took the leap again and signed up for Ikoma’s preparatory class. I find myself in the tone of a secret ambassador, but no, I am still paying my fees like everyone. Would be nice to get sponsored by someone, anyone though!

First up, I had thought that the answer-shading sheets was just a mock up for us to get familiar with the actual exam. Until… each of us got a REAL exam number and there is a marking machine for our weekly mini-tests. And we get back an attachment on which is the right answer and whatnot.

Indeed the course fees here is on a heavier side, but from what they offer, it is worth it.

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And I failed you people here. I was still a little lost and had no idea why Iwata Sensei went around asking if we want to borrow some CDs. She was asking 借りたい (karitai: wanting to borrow) and I thought it was 買いたい (kaitai: wanting to buy) and had thought, wah, who so kiasu still want to buy extra materials to study?? –> heavy Singaporean accent.

Turned out it is for our listening homework.

Of coz, I did what was perfectly normal even after I realised my mistake, that is to pretend that I am too cool to care about such a minor homework. After all I sat through my test 9 times I am a LIFE-SENPAI. I don’t sweat the small stuff.

The strange thing was, few to no one borrowed the CDs too. One guy said to the teacher that he borrowED it before. Is he going through this class AGAIN? Or others are as lost as me?? N2 san is kowaiiiiii!!!~~~

OTL. Now… gonna do my “listening” by reading the script. Another thing is, unless your listening is already native level, which probably no one is if they are taking this class, having the script is always, **NEEDED** in my opinion. I don’t think we are at the level where we can easily ask things like, “oh, I heard ‘easily’ here, what does it mean?’ If there is an unknown word, most learners would go… HUH??? and unlikely able to catch it by ear. A script at least has the written word so we can check it out.

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Starting August when all my lessons are back on a Sunday, I would have 40 minutes for lunch and there is a nice Japanese supermarket nearby. There are Bentos and fried stuff there and my school allow folks to have a quick meal. Just that I am still a little shy to take one entire Bento to the common area.

Ikoma is pretty big. Two stories and 40 over classrooms.

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If you are here for some learning tips, the final one is I find it such a blessing to bind my notes into a book and read them. And that’s all. Below is more about Bear kun and life stuff.

Honestly I am really in a transition now. Like a really awesome one I can’t even. Like real things are happening. So, I got tones of stuff hanging around.

I GOT A TOTAL of 4 Mindvalley courses undone, 2 of which is for me to revise. And they are paid stuff. I need to get my ass on it soon but but but but but I am totally basking in Christie’s light so far. For the past 2 weeks, other than eating and sleeping, I was just listening to the recording of Christie’s Sessions.

So, who is Chrisite and what she does? Go to her site and have your life explode into abundance.

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While I am a very spiritual and intuitive person (rofl!!) I am blessed with very practical and science folks around me. And if you ask me, erm… Yuxing, you are saying that by spending hundreds, and in your case, thousands of dollars to hear some woman who giggles a lot talk about clearing you gunk can really bring about life changes?

Well, yeah. If we are willing to tune into ourselves.

In a way Sessions with Christie are like guided meditations and we built so many of our life programmes based one a few defining life events. Good for us if we are positively influenced and if not, I am willing to help my own life no matter what.

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When we take the leap, Life and the Universe often reward us.

The other day Mum was telling me I changed for the good and I am positively influencing them. I almost fainted. In my family, saying I LOVE YOU means one of us either did something horrible or we are gonna die, or both.

I already signed up for another year of it for a HUGE discount plus bonus. The Singaporean in me rejoice.

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I shared this with my UA group and here it goes.

Frankly I always felt that I was left behind in time. But it is not something that I beat myself over. It is just an awareness. I developed a thing to love watching dated dramas and somehow I felt good that, it a way I went back in time and watched a good drama that I should had back then.

These thoughts and doings were especially strong in my late teens till late 20s.

I haven’t done that in a while and I begun to love current dramas. Just that ideally they are a newly ended episode so I can binge watch them. HAHAAHAHAHAAAaaa!!!

So, by renewing my UA for another year and getting the 12 2015/2016’s session as bonus mean a lot to me. It is like my past came in as a gift, still I am in a current UA and yes, I prepared my future UA already. I got a sense that I got it all done. Finally.

Tidying

Being in a transition now had me stuffing things around.

Me also gonna get reminded of Chu everywhere I go coz I stuck the stickers she sent on pretty much everything.

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I thought these bags were good for books. KNOWINGLY bought B3 yet thought they were half the size all becoz they wer folded in half in the packaging. I can go be a harmless and cute girl now. x’D

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Thought it was brilliant to keep my notes in folders like these and all in a ring file until I bought a binding machine and make booklets out of them.

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I now how so many of these filmsy plastics. And labels like that below.

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In the past I would get mad at myself, but well, at least I found a better way by starting to take action. It is not a good/bad thing.

Also, my plan of ripping books into smaller pages to slowly study them each day was not the best idea. I think I could need to bind them all back again.

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Bear kun flying on my lapdesk. Meanwhile I cleared my old computer table and is working on that now. Bliss.

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It is true that in the years of our lives we took on many of others’ stories and force it on ourselves. I enjoy what I do and love the switches. Why make a wrongess/rightness out of it.?

Of coz, this being said, we still need to be conscious about ourselves. It won’t be a good idea to go around harming ourselves and others.

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Hard work pays off, the rest is to believe in ourselves. Sano Izumi, Hanakimi.

I went through my grammar notes and boom! They appeared in the test. I scored a 27/36. Yes, EBIBODY I AM GONNA PASS MY JLPT!!!

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A gorgeously beautiful thing happened in my UA group. I  shared a lot on how reading the transcripts does me greatness. And one time another lady asked if I am interested to do the transcripts ourselves since other than the UA Home, the Lives and whatnot are not scripted.

I am so honored by that.

True that English is my first language but it is really another level of thing to work with all you native speakers on stuff having to do with language. SO CHU!! YOU ARE ALSO MY ANGEL!!! I really didn’t start going all Singlish on you ok? —> Heavy Singaporean accent.

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Gimbak with Mum. Ate all her food. I always remember Prof Rao’s teaching of Good Thing Bad Thing, Who Knows. One time my Mum commented that the Chicken Gimbak was darn good. She loved it so much she kept some for later on.

But that day she was like… nah… “It wasn’t as good as I remembered it to be, hmm, maybe I was darn hungry that day.” xD

We can never gaurantee the outcome but we should always invest in the process for the journey is all we got.

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It is darn cool to own picture books as an adult. I get to write in them. HAHAHAAAAaa!!!

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Something I shared with my UA group. I stuffed a lot of emotions in my skulls and spine. I know right. Usually it is the back or leg for people. I DON’T KNOW WHY I AM SO SPECIAL.

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Hung out in the library with my parents that day. Dad got the grand encyclopedia of Origami and it even has rattle snake. Crazy.

I grew up staying at home alone, from after school till my parents return from work. It has to take till my Dad retired, my Mum getting a surgery and me out of job to finally be able to spend time like this together.

I don’t know how things go for you guys, but don’t be like us. Always find the time. PINKY PROMISE WITH ME.

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Yes, putting our my good vibes and may I appear on TV and on your computer screen soon. ❤

広告

I Made It!

So!! I was craving for chocolate milk a few days back. By night time, I drank an entire Litre (33.814 oz) of it. In the 2012 Men in Black movie, the Agents craved chocolate milk each time they time traveled.

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I really love this movie and watched it in the theatres twice. ❤ ❤

And in a way, I really felt like I have been going back in time to clear all those non-serving things and whatnot of me life. In a science way, it is proposed that a lot of our operating programmes were installed between the ages of 0 to 7. Some suggest since we are formed and in our mothers’ wombs.

And if we took on a mindset of a limited world and all those, we grow up re-living this pattern and all. Fearful to share, fearful to let go and receive more. Bad decision to stick with toxic friends and etc.

And vice versa, if we grow up knowing that there are more in the world for us, we automatically seek bigger pastures and also this get displayed on our values and doings. Ever notice how some folks always managed to find good deals and they are always on a roll? Yet we know that it has to do with their hard work too. ❤

Then of coz there is the spiritual side where, differs among individuals, people experience a whole spectrum of peace and self-discoveries. Good things seem to pop into their realities and while sometimes things are still the same, they can take on everything with a new sense of enlightenment.

For me, life is good. Like the universe is trying to connect with me. Not the other way round. Very crazy. But in a loving way.

And before I get on into my Japanese lesson, I want to talk about how I found forgiveness towards my ex-boss and those/that caught in the tangle.

On Monday, part of my regular Japanese lesson has this pair work where we talk about what we wanted to be when we were kids. And mine was really to be a Kindergarten teacher. Frankly that has a lot to do with me liking Zhang laoshi as person, really not my innate passion. I think somehow my teacher knew that I was one. I had mentioned about Japanese kindergarten curriculums and having off days on the weekDAYs.

So, Ms Abe saw that I wrote “Kindergarten Teacher” on my worksheet. She said something like, “Your dream came true eh.”

It was bittersweet.

Yes and then no.

I have to inject this part in.

Towards the end of my work term I no longer agree with ex-boss on how she does the curriculum. In my opinion, it had already crossed into something unethical. Not in the sense that she is harming anyone in the process, just that I see a discrepancy in her/our/their actual delivery vs what was marketed.

Still, it is all my own opinion. This is non-sue-able right?

And a few cases made me re-evaluate the whole thing about pre-school education. At least for children 4 years of age and below. Also, I am old-school and I strongly believe that a young child needs his/her mother to some extent.

One incident was when I was helping out in the 4 year old class; there was this little angel name Z. And in Z’s class was these 2 boys who has little sense about their behaviours. There is of coz nothing wrong and I actually adore them. However, them being rowdy and using class materials as guns and swords scared Z a lot. Yes, we did watch the boys and even so having Boy 1 suddenly jumping up and roar with his make believe weapon in pure fun and joy is totally unpreventable.

One time Z looked like she was about to cry the whole time and sat with the back of her chair against the wall. I gave her a lot of my attention and finally when Teacher B was playing out police siren, ambulance siren and all those sound for kids to tell what is what, Z looked at me and burst out crying.

She was scared.

Translator S and I comforted her and with S’s kindness, all was resolved quickly. And from that day on, Z has this special liking towards me. ❤

Sweet as it is, I had told my Mum and Chu that the incident actually broke my heart a bit.

I think pre-school education is great. A grand humanity plus, but at the same time, I feel that not always each young child is ready. And the environment and everything contribute to the overall wellness of a child. I really think that being so scared that Z burst out crying in class and needed two grown women to comfort her is not the best path for Z.

Of coz there is no one “wrong” in this whole incident. Everyone involved wanted only the good for Z and something, in my own opinion, not desirable happened.

Now, back to my ex-boss. While pretty much everything she did during my last 2 months of teaching was nothing but bully and in my opinion a dastardly low way to push me to resign, it also seems unlikely that someone her calibre would stoop to that level.

Yesterday Mum and I stopped by MOS Burger after visiting my dear, dear Aunt. I told Mum, back in our temporary office, ex-boss had told me that she once donned on a pretty Kimono and walked the streets of Kyoto, and in her own words, being the “Aunty” she is, no man approached her for photos, and she saw many pretty girls got approached. Another time she went to Tsukiji Market by herself to eat Sushi and Sashimi during a free day from observing classes at the Japanese kindergarten.

My impression of that was a beautiful tall lady going out and about in Japan. Frankly my ex-boss is quite pretty, during her Uni days, she was even signed to a model agency. So, you guys can imagine her standard.

I also remembered her as incredibly zealous about the whole thing. She had introduced to me a current J-drama that talked about prestigious Kindergartens in Japan and all. Also buying foodcourt discount cards for us as we kept paying more and refused to do ourselves the favour. xD

Those times of shopping for gifts to bring to Japan with her. Her treating me her favourite cheese tarts and all those.

If ex-boss had been a jerk since the start, I wouldn’t have spend my off days shopping for class materials and bringing home my curriculum so I can better rehearsal them even on my free time.

This was also my first job where I went in almost early daily bcoz I loved it! I stopped until the abuses came in. I also brought in my own books bcoz I loved it. I enjoyed it.

Maybe the sudden change in attitude towards me was really to prepare for a better new teacher (now the centre is established, perhaps she can get experienced job seekers now) and for reasons I will never know.

Or like I mentioned above, maybe ex-boss san can sense that I no longer agree with her and that I have to go. Maybe.

One thing I learned is, challenges comes into our lives. And at times we can be thrown off our feet, not knowing what to do and tend to get blame-y towards everyone around, including how the government failed us just bcoz there is a slight train delay today. Given how hastily I was asked to go, I totally did no hand over, I am sure that I could be passed a cheque and get told that here is my last day. All the dramas and whatnot could be saved.

With how I was excluded from everything to how another colleague was basically doing all my work till she starting hating me and went around implying that I cannot English, I really see no way I could contribute anymore. And yeah, this was the one thing ex-boss san told me that she is mad about me, that I was not joining in the interpersonal whatnots in a “professional” environment. I can only think that either ex-boss lost it and went all out to make me feel bad, or tragically she is oblivious to all that happening.

Back to me telling Mum about ex-boss’s Kyoto’s Kimono.

For some strange reason my resentment just melted away. It is like I can truly say that I found forgiveness towards all that happened. Including that no one bought me even a cup of Bubble Tea on my last week. F you ALL though!! xD

I remember in another of my old workplace, the blood sister of the boss tried to screw her and it escalated into a court case.

My seniors then said this, during tough times we see the true essences of a person.

My future route.

I still love to teach, and it will be about languages and older students this round.

Also, this sudden break has left me entirely opened towards what I really want to do in life. Of coz I know money needs to come in, right now I am still thinking about my next move. SO KAMI SAMA, PLEASE GIVE ME MY LIFE PURPOSE NOW. I am open to receive.

Thankfully it is not like I am stressed out or what. I am really enjoying the time with my Mum. Like one time she placed the bear plushie on her piles of clothes and I told her that the bear kun is sniffing her undies. She almost died from my semi-pervy joke.

Also, even my Dad said that I put on weight. I can no longer redeem myself. x’D

Now, now, now, finally after since forever I am in a JLPT preparatory class. Chu asked me how was it and my reply was… SMELLS LIKE JAPAN.

Apparently Chu understands me and she is still my friend after I told her that I saw Naoto in my dreams and he told me that my happiness lies in going to Okinawa and marry him. If I am in Chu’s shoes, I don’t know if I can do what Chu does.

I win big times in life just by having a friend like her. NO ONE CAN CALL ME FRIENDLESS NOW. >=)

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So, so, so~~~ my teacher is a bright, energetic and totally classy beauty. Like she so darn graceful even her speaking out loud (to demonstrate what “yelling” is, new word we learned) is music to the ears and she is so cute even her writing is small and adorable.

HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!

Interestingly she is from the Shikoku and there is famous for a 88 shrine pilgrimage and UDON. I totally need to go there. I totally need to go to Japan and visit all 47 prefectures. ❤

And crazy!! I was nervous for my first class. It felt like attending my first class in University and it felt really special because this round I have a goal to hit. And that was passing my N2 test.

Mum said that she would make me a card saying “You failed.” should I fail again on my 10th time.

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Speaking of which, I don’t know what good Karma I planted. Other than Chu, I also got another older lady friend (used to be from Okinawa!!) telling me that my Japanese is good. You know, good energy is everything.

I might just score full marks for N2 and bump into Naoto. And he falls in love with me. Then I would have to deal with my new found language ability and how is it that such a cute and innocent guy can like a person as cute as me. These thoughts are happy yet a little overwhelming. :3

So cute!! My kokoro flutters. ❤

Back to Prep Class.

Right after our self introductions, we have a mini test. I DID A SELF-INTRODUCTION IN JAPANESE, I DID YOU GUYS PROUD.

こんにちは、私はユシンです!よろしく!

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We are giving a 5,000 word mini dictionary and that it is ONLY the basic to N2. Basics! Just the basic!

And right now I am doing 100 words per day. Got tedious so I just pick all the unfamiliar words from a 100 word list per day.

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Sensei gave pencils for practicing shading the answer sheets. SUGOI-ly thoughtful. ❤

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Homework form my regular work.

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It feels really, really, REALLY good to be in all these classes. ❤ I love life, love you and of coz Okinawa.

I will be back soon. ❤ ❤ ❤

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An Inspiring Post

A loooon post ahead.

Last post on me life was still back in June and it is 8th of July already!!

First up, the World Cup season. For some strange reason, GOOD things always happen for me during this period. I went to Japan for a grand total of 4 times in 2014, one time to OKINAWA where everything started. In 2010 I went to Korea for a month’s of summer school and also then EVERYTHING started. In 2006 I was preparing for Polytechnic graduation and more Anime/Manga in me life, another foundation for EVERYTHING later on. 2002, I got invited to a really dear teacher’s house and the bunch of us watched the match between Korea and Japan (notice how Korea and Japan became the two most influential countries to me later on). 1998, I actually took part in my first soccer match and won Silver, love for soccer grew even more. 1994, I entered primary school. 1990, me was 3 and you can also say that many of my amazing friends whom I met later in life was born the same year too. World Cup 1986, me was preparing to be born the next year.

This is all so strangely related eh.

McDonalds’ World Cup special this round. Friend chicken balls with pizza sauce within.

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It is really strange but somehow tastes good.

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Been having ALL my meals with my parents these days. Like a make up for all those lost time. I used to think that my parents were one of my worst aspect. These days I am getting all the goodness due to them.

Back in late June, during one of the days where I took paid leaves to protest against my ex-boss bullying, my Mum told me this thing. That she used to feel really alone when we all left her alone at home on the weekends.

Honestly I don’t think I was that wrong, but there, this sticky dense energy just left us.

Seriously, good thing, bad thing, who knows. I still think that my boss was a horrible bitch, and opportunity can come in more benevolent ways, but my protest got me to stay home and that opened a window for my Mum and me to clear things.

It took me till 31, facing an impending job loss and when my Mum had a surgery at 71 to finally clear things. You see my story today, now that you are reading it. At the end of the day, be clear about what truly matters. Don’t leave this world with regret. Don’t leave things that you can clear to day till you never get the chance.

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Ok, this post is also gonna just go in bits here and there, according to the photos.

So, bagpack of my 6 year old. INSANELY RAD.

Do I miss my work?? Given what happened on my last day, I lost all sense of lingering feeling. Maybe not towards Teacher B, but that is just it is.

Surely it will be unseemly if I demand a ball be prepared for me. But really, when folks don’t have the basic humanity to be nice on someone’s last day… it really takes the cake.

So, little J was not himself that day (nope, he didn’t know that I was leaving) and he got aggressive towards the end of the class. Apparently he found out how to control the room’s fan speed via the fan controller and got very possessive over it. Other kids were just being curious and the only way they can join in the fun was going for the main switch.

J started declaring that he is gonna beat whoever interferes.

It seemed harmless until he tried going around to punch others and kick their privates. He was so mad, he did the same to his Dad when his Dad came to pick him up.

Since I don’t have an assistant teacher (likely my ex-boss way of making things difficult for me in bid for me to resign myself) I did the best thing of standing in between J and the rest.

It worked until J thought it was a good idea to smash the fan controller on my head till the back cover flew out.

I do wish all attacks from kids are soft, but not for this. The bruising lasted for more than a week, still hurting a little now.

How my company treated me was another colleague reprimanding me like a criminal by demanding that why didn’t I stop J, then questioning the children on what *REALLY* happened.

Surely I can press on but I chose to leave. My final say that the result of my ex-boss bullying has finally resulted in a preventable incident.

A cheque had already been passed to me but needing to prove herself, I was harassed over text to go see a doctor or that I would have to have my pay docked. The good thing was really that the cheque was banked into my account and I returned the office key to Translator S and she helped passed it back.

I don’t know what ex-boss san was trying to prove all these while. I would have gladly go if she ask me to. I get that I have the least number of students, and on a personal level, maybe she just don’t like that I am on the outspoken side towards her. I need not be a professional analyst, but I can see that our (now theirs) centre is likely to be in some financial trouble. Not that we were (now them) bad or anything. The centre is a new brand and there are only this much people in Singapore.

So many thing were unnecessary. Such as one time I was tasked to write out a SCRIPT on how a cucumber differ from a banana in English and poor Translator S have to go edit my English (as if any editing was ever needed). So crazy. So much time wasted and so many unpleasantness grew.

Folks asked me before to clarify myself, my point is, people don’t always want to know THE truth. And it is not my job to force it on them. They are probably better off with their versions of the story. Arguing with them will be a no-end matter, I will probably end up exhausted and more vexed than ever.

And who knows, the new teacher might be such a good fit, everyone regret not meeting him/her earlier.

My ex-boss did 3 nice things for me. Hiring me, sending me to Japan and finally asking me to GTFO.

My birth details Mum found. I was a long babY!

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Sponge cake made with brown sugar from Okinawa.

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Wanted to relace my pink highlighter and got these whole series. Can’t wait to do more artpeaces with them. Heeheehee~~~

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I was loving this until I saw chicken skin under the bread crumbs. Almost died.

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So I got $20 off on these from Translator S and I’s vouchers. Only to take a $31 taxi ride home. My stuff also slid off my cart. A young man ran over to carry things up for me, a grandma about 80 followed me a bit for she was so worried and some folks can’t help but giggled. I almost wanted to join in the laughing, just that it didn’t make sense. ROFL!!

Figured out that I will be printing and binding a lot of stuff and while what I paid won’t be cheaper to do it at the print shop in my old school, things will still be hella convenient, especially if my new work schedule gets back to Monday – Friday.

Thought red overs and while binders were cool until I put them together. Not really matchy-matchy!!

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Finally dinned at Central Hong Kong Cafe after nearly a year.

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Seriously, sometimes it is best to write down an action plan, if not we might just never get to go do that something.

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I think only Chu knows who I am talking about, and speaking of which, I really think friends are people who will honour you. I get that at times we get a bit pushy if we think that we are doing a friend good, but this very same goodness is also something that people use as an excuse to abuse their others.

I am tempted to type the following in Chinese to show the drama but here it goes in Eigo.

If someone who calls themselves a friend cannot see my hardwork and giving, then they are really not my friend.

Chu is someone who tags me in random Youtube video that talks about dream becoz she have THAT much love for me. I used to oversleep and call for breakfast delivery, but KNOWING that Chu had sent before her well wishes for me to get the hell out, for my own good, I now go out to get ALL my breakfast.

I still want to walk back into Hamahiga Island, as a well wishing prayer to Chu. I know the Kami sama don’t need me to do that and also it has a lot to do with my own vanity, but still I honour Chu that way.

I get that there is only sO much we can do for others, but really, for your own dignity, please don’t come calling yourself MY friend when you can even be proud to let others know that we are friends on FB. Also I don’t keep these kind of human toxic on my FB.

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2nd last day at work.

It is funny and here it goes. I felt that I have no more to teach my ex-kids. They have given me a lot too. Like re-living my life again. The curriculum I used to teach is originally rooted in helping Japanese kids pass primary school entrance exam. And now, all of your ex-teacher is sitting for a class to prepare her for the year end JLPT.

It felt surreal.

I have been wanting to take the preparatory course since 2012. First time lack of students at my old school. Then all the waffling on my part. Again in 2015 but started too late and totally didn’t revise.

AND FINALLY.

I did you people proud.

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I have noticed that I have gotten wayyyy more calmer than before. My Mum is having many moments of WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?! She is of coz happy beyond believe that I have gotten so lovely, yet it is so unbelievable that she wants to make sure that I wasn’t faking it.

One thing was, she was rather upset that why didn’t I make myself clear when ex-boss belt out chain and chain of accusations. Frankly I was frustrated, but I don’t want to be a person who type a lot things in text but could not do so in real life. I did invite my ex-boss for a real life talk. She did so by dragging in everybody in and pretended to talk about our classing schedule.

And sometimes arguing with an idiot makes YOU look like one too. By mid-April I was barred out of all meetings already, but in ex-boss san’s clarification of my “poor work performance”, she stated that I chose NOT to help in their new classes. Then she changed it to it is her SOLE opinion of me not being good enough. Had I argued, I will have to do it twice. Very tiring and most importantly bring forth nothing.

What I felt ex-boss san need is either proper memory training or a good look into her own character, if she was really lying and trying to trick me into feeling bad.

Did I mentioned that she enrolled her own son into my class all these while?? I would wager that it is difficult to explain to her boy why she placed him in a poor teacher’s class and/or the actual reason of why I was not there anymore.

In a way I learned about kindness from my previously workplace. Of coz we shouldn’t go around giving and drain ourselves. But it is also true that sometimes we created our own monsters.

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Breakfast with parents have been nothing but a bliss.

And again Dad shared this story. I remember hearing it before but hearing it in this stage of maturity was different. It was sO much that I release all the resentment I had towards my parents.

I think by now those close around figured out that my parents are at a grandparents’ age to me. While they did their best, growing up, bro and me had hoped that they did something different.

And so, back in his late 20s, one time to impress the visiting boss, Dad and a younger colleague went up some parts of a ship to paint. Due to negligence from workers on another ship, their platform was knocked over and Dad’s colleague felt and died on the spot. Dad managed to jumped on some other thing and almost died too.

They went to court and for some while Dad was unable to sleep after seeing how the poor colleague died. His wife was pregnant at that time too.

I don’t know why but I finally see that my Dad did his best with his life. He really gave his best, although their parenting is not the best fit to bro and me. Also at this time I had many talks with Mum and she told me a lot of stories too.

They just did their best and no longer was I living in the “should haves, could haves.” And no guys, there was no radical change on their side still, but I am at peace.

I don’t know why.

And I hope that whoever reading this can find all the resolutions you need in your life.

Origami.

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Emperor and Empress at Hina Matsuri.

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Look at my version!!

😂😂😂😂😂

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Was looking through my old books and found this. ROOKIES is my favourite drama/movie to date.

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The boys left the same and different people.

Each time I finish a school term or work or travel or anything, I consider it my blessing to be able to leave the same but different person. ❤

この時間コレを飲んで、多分今夜寝られません。でも、YOLO! 今回の旅に、一番の大発見は。。。何でもありません!!!仏教に«空»は大切なものですよ。wwwww~~ 今は、ドラマROOKIESの最終シーンの感じです。皆と周りの物事絶対に変わられました。でも、同じ時に、皆はまだ皆です。ますぐに、新しい旅が始まります。 いつか、もう一度神様さんの恵みをくだされば、沖縄へ戻りたい。図々しいのに、今のククルは6%沖縄になりました。💟🐰 誰かこれを読んでいますが、I wish that you can soon go on a splendid journey where your heart will twang at beautiful things. 💟💟💟 100%良いことじゃないけど、良い物事、悪い物事、両方は終わりタイミングがあります。唯一終わらないものは記憶と知識、モーガン先生と言った言葉。 Pass the GOODNESS on baby!! 良い物事続きます! #TacoRice17 #okinawa

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First book I binded. Shouldn’t it be “bound”???

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Super thankful and grateful to be in Ikoma. ❤ They still have Eigo translation which is a great, great help. I used to think that it is best to have EVERYTHING in Japanese. But if I am not ready, it won’t work.

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And HOLY!! I got these wonderful stickers online!! ❤ I might be wrong but it is so difficult to find affordable stickers in shops.

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But too bad that the hearts and stars stickers weren’t cut properly and half of the sheet gets torn if I try to get them out. It is $1 for 6 sheets though. So, I am trying to use as much as possible.

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My Mum always tell me that the most adorable thing about my Dad is the way he eats. xD

I think my Mum is quite pretty and she also resembles Naoto. The guy in red.

Finally went to West Coast Park. It is sO good to go out during the weekends again. The atmosphere is just different.

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Cannonball tree. FOR REAL.

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Lotsa cotton. I shall go harvest them someday.

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Interesting bug.

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Liking cute stuff a lot these days.

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Interestingly, at this moment, now that I am end of the post, I felt that I have did another final release of what happened and I feel freer.

So many new things and I can’t wait to share it with everyone lovely!! ❤ ❤ ❤

Love and light to everyone.

Walalala!~ Life so Far!

Hello Ebibody!

Since the last post sO much happened and I couldn’t be happier!! My last day at work would be this 1st of July and the coolest thing about it all is I am still so proud of how I stayed collected and all.

Earlier this month I was suddenly given a verbal 2 month’s notice, followed by an accusation and asked if I have anything to say. Very similar to how it all started back in April. Surely I can make my retaliation, but I learned that often times people just want to live their own version of the truth and we need not make them follow ours or THE truth.

One of the thing was, I had no idea how sick Teacher B was that day. During lunch she still recorded her slightly hoarse voice to Goddess Colleague to joke about and then suddenly Boss san said that I was being a bad team player for not taking over her class.

I am pretty sure that Teacher B did not stab me in the back or anything. Plus I was already given notice, I see that I have nothing to fight for.

Adding to this I was not invited to join in the whole preparation of the school’s new classes, I really don’t know if I should butt myself in their project.

Finally the chronically unproductive rehearsals got abusive and I walked out. It was near knock off time so I gave the excuse that I was feeling sick. Which on an emotional level I really was.

Again the whole thing happened again the next day. Told Boss san that her bullying has to stop and until we can come to an honest talk, I am taking an unpaid day off. After a wall-of-text of her own sharing, I thanked her for her sharing and took 2 days of paid leaves as she suggested.

Came day 2 and I reminded about her our talk tomorrow. Again she shared A LOT. At one point I was tempted to retaliate, until I realise I shouldn’t be those kind of folks who type a bunch of stuff but have no courage to voice out in real life.

Also, Boss san could really be insane or a serious asshole trying to make me feel bad. One of the things she said was actually that I was so terribly mean to leave her out for lunch. ;__; I happened to have lunch with my parents and I laughed so hard that I actually felt kinda bad.

In the end I again thanked her for her sharing and accepted her offer to let me go on the 1st of July. So Boss! If you read this, remember to pay me accordingly.

A lot of folks feel sorry for me about what happened. Was my Boss an ass? I think going into the details would be unfair to her since just in February another teacher left and Boss told me that this teacher quit, but… from sources, this teacher, like me, was told to GTFO.

I will be forever grateful towards each kid I met. Like I mention previously, this whole thing was a giant gift the Universe arranged for me, that I get to relive my early childhood days and in such an awesome way.

Also, I managed to love my job so much all because passion already resides in me. I could be doing something entirely different and still be happy. So Chu, not working with children anymore is not something that is hurtful to me. And, what if the new teacher is actually a better fit to my current kids?

I genuinely LIKE my colleagues and also my Boss until she started treating me like a blight. So, I am leaving with so much love towards all them girls. And bias, bias, especially towards the translators, YOU GIRLS ARE SO GORGEOUSLY SMART!! I was always trying to show myself as smart-enough to them.

The happy times with Teacher B back in our old office, such a shame that our snacking habits can’t be continued right after we moved to the school. And Goddess Colleague. Nicknaming her that tells a lot.

And dear people, I did you all proud by still staying cute through this. I finally am able to not take on people’s junk and kill myself over it. I am so excited and hopeful about what is to come. For all I know I would travelling to Okinawa now to draw as a paid job. Who knows. None of us could dream that the fire rabbit that I am kept calm right??

CHU I DID YOU PROUD. I don’t know why Chu came to mind. But yeah, Chu I did you darn proud. xD

JAPANESE CLASS.

WOOOOO GUYS. Let me announce that I am now enrolled in a JLPT N2 Preparation class. I have been wanting to join one since 2012 but either the class didn’t start due to lack of students or this and that. Finally took one in September in 2015 and it was too much of a rush.

SO PEOPLE!! AGAIN I DID ALL OF YOU PROUD.

And damn. I am SO happy to have my classes back on a Sunday. LIKE VIVA SUNDAY CLASS!! Classes on weekday nights are always so… ❤ Yes, more Ikemen in my class please.

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I will forever remember my days of working in a mall with a bunch of good girls. ❤

The last time I ate waffles ice cream was back in 2010. In Seoul. Then getting drench on a sight seeing boat.

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Finally organised my notes with bar files! I love Okinawa, 300 gsm coldpressed paper and bar files. NO mention of food! Yet!

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These series of photos are from way back. Like I said, so many things happened.

I ALSO RECEIVE INSTANT ENLIGHTENMENT DAILY. ❤

Staff tied a knot for my drink so it would’t spill. SO NICE!!

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Finally changed my phone case since FOREVER. Abe Sensei also mentioned that I has a LOT of pink stuff. :3

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Got this bear stand at a new Sushi place near our workplace.

Saying this again, I love my colleagues. Frankly this is the 1st time I worked with a bunch of girls-only. Cranes is for the kids but class was busy that day. Completed them at home nevertheless.

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My favourite kitty.

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Also this is the first time I got up early to have breakfast near my workplace before work. Just as I was getting used to this, I gotta change this soon. ❤

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Taught a kid how to write Chinese and she also taught me to say 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 in Malay. ❤

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Forever grateful peeps!!

I love you all.

Seriously, good thing bad thing, who knows. During my 2 days leave my Mum told me that she used to feel really alone when I was not home at one point on the weekends. I of coz have my reasons but I don’t know why I apologised and just like that I cannot be happier, writing this is making me teary.

 

Continuing From Last Tuesday

Lunch with my Mum this afternoon.

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My grandfather was born in 1897.

He came to Malaysia from China (Yong Chun, Fujian) when he was 19 and the only kin he was with, his older cousin, proceeded to ditch him to fend for himself. Interestingly, my grandmother was also born on this very same day. My maternal great grandparents were also from the same province, Xiamen, Fujian.

Mum had 2 older brothers (15 and 10 years her senior) and a total of 23 nephews and nieces. During the better days my grandfather owned a mini patrol station, a reasonable plot of rubber trees and a few other business. He even returned to his hometown with pride. My 2 uncles were being carried in baskets hung at the ends of a pole by a hired man. Rad thing to do at that time.

Patrol station was confiscated during the war, the rubber plantation became unworkable after decades and the miscellaneous businesses eventually wound up on their own.

Despite the lack of money, my mother managed to complete her secondary education and was the one with the most education among her siblings.

Mum came over to Singapore at 26 and met my Dad at 36. They got married just 11 months later and bro and me was born 2 and 3 years later. A sibling before me had to be artificially removed and sometimes I do wonder if I am so incredible that I got reincarnated twice. xD

Life was not without challenges and being some old 70 year old woman, she always tell me that what got her to make the decision to marry my Dad, 12 years her senior, was that, “Love need not be long, it just have to be good.”

Over lunch today I was just filled with gratitude.

A week ago today I was burying my head and pretending that I need not be in the hospital while her minor operation (laparoscopic cholecystectomy) is going on and a week later I am here with her eating. Her recovery have been sO good I think she is a medical miracle.

However, even as I am brimming with tears and FEELING the gratitude (Day 15 – Appreciation and Gratitude), I might need to repay my training fees to my company even though it was my boss who told me to go. I am very grateful that Singapore is such a fair and just place, and deep in me I know that if my boss decides to be a jerk, I can easily win the case again her.

Still, being with my Mother makes me SO happy that I was at peace with having to pay the training fees and leave with no fights. Things come and go (Day 30). If we can truly accept things as it is, there will be no stress. ❤ (Prof Rao’s TED TALK on Happiness)

And then the whole universe conspired and we met my old cousin at the mall’s bakery. She works there. She was about to go for lunch when my Mum grabbed her and they hugged and them insisting to pay for my purchase jammed up the whole queue. NEVER in my life I see queues in bakeries jammed up. Staff usually work at such speed that cameras cannot catch them.

And meeting my cousin is what inspired me to write this post.

Mum is just 10 years older than my oldest cousin and at one point the girls were working with my Mum. Lots of drama, lots of unhappiness. And I can safely say that if I were to go through those deep programmes on how childhood affected us, I would say this crazy environment had got me to think that the world suck and I must as well kill myself than participate in this insanity against my will. (Also why in my desperate attempt I took up this course last September.)

Today, it just hit me that it is sO true that ALL was in my head.

I was beating myself up over and over again through my growing years thinking that I have the jerks of jerks as relatives. When I started working, I would fly myself alone overseas to avoid ALL family gathering. One time my brother asked why I do that, I broke down and said one more moment in these stressful environment, I would probably jumped down our 10 story flat.

But the good thing out of it was, all those trips I saw all the most beautiful things ever, ever. I also earned the good name of a sole female traveler. I too got many people telling me that they would love to travel someday too. SOMEDAY. From there I learned that it is best to not leave too much regrets in our lives.

Also, I still look forward to travel with friends.

Wooo, look here ebibody, the good thing, bad thing who knows eh??

So! For decades I hated my extended family and eat the poison with it. Today my cousin is so lovable I almost burst from the love. I never hung around with folks 20-30 years older than me. Kinda like I never had people at what should been my parents age. I often felt that I was born an entire generation later.

The reality that I lived with wasn’t even real.

The “reality” today truly served me.

And I was fed with so much ideas that I would be despised once my family background is known to others. So much that I had took off 10 – 20 off my parents’ ages in application forms, lie about everything as much as I can and all those.

Since I was leaving my job, I begun to get very open with my colleagues whom I really enjoy being around and only then I realised, I again had a reality that didn’t serve me.

Suddenly I feel empowered and want to write about this to share with you guys.

Good thing, bad thing, who knows. A liberating and kinda scary thing! xD